There are some people in this small town that are fortunate enough that they can walk to campus or downtown in order to enjoy fesitivities. Others live further away, but perhaps still easy biking distance. And still others live just outside that comfort walking/biking zone. At the beginning of the year I was willing to overcome waking up and biking in the sunrise in order to get to campus. Being independent of the AppalCart is a fantastic feeling. You avoid the compacted nature of everyone stiffly and awkwardly attempting to fit in together like we are the cream filling of a twinkie, where the bus is the twinky and we are the filling but not as tasty or nearly as creamy.
But winter has caused me to be lazy and I am pretty sure the extended number of days that my bike was underneath inches of snow has caused some damage to my bike chains. So I've been riding the bus. Even just thinking about the bus as I walk down our apartment hill to the stop makes my heart beat a little quicker and I get really anxious and fidgety. If there were two things that I would be okay living without it would be crowded small spaces and lines. Of course nobody likes either of those things but my extreme distaste for them is more correctly defined as abhorrence, loathing, if crowds and lines were a magnet we'd all be norths...that is to say we'd repel each other. But as I said, I have become quite lazy and my backpack so full it would be as if I were riding a bike with a bear on my back in some circus stunt.
My feet don't touch the ground comfortably when I sit and I can't reach the overhang bar when I stand. If I am not fighting an overwhelming feeling of nausea I am whapping some poor unfortunate person with my overweight backpack. Today alone I fell over once, and then thrusted my chest into a girl's face while trying to move so a guy could get to the exit. I've chased after two buses simultaneously in a dress and missed them both. I've ran to catch up to a bus, thought I was near the "oh hey there is a girl about to get on" zone, and had the bus leave as I was walking up to it-three times. The Express Route that I take home runs by a certain point at :57 after which just seems to be the exact time I reach it, or if I am unlucky enough just miss it.
I have had a few fortunate times where I make it to the stop right as the bus arrives and I feel that I have gained some feat over the system that seems to so flagrantly be trying to leave me behind. And sometimes at the right point in the evening I am one of few on the bus, and it is raining and cold, and I am warm and alone with the seat that has a hump so I can perch my feet. It feels like I should be in a scene of a movie where a lonely girl rides the bus across the country in order to find herself and she is gazing out of the water-dropped windown deeply into the horizon as the bus takes off down urban roads. But really I am in Boone and only riding for 10 minutes to a place that is 2 miles away. Reality is not as epic.
What do I take from this? I would probably die if I lived in a big city. My lacking in "street smart" and bus savvy would have me lost for hours, days, or months!
***on an unrelated side note: I am starting to feel the pressure of my classe weighing oh so heavily down on me. It wouldn't be too bad if my tests were at least spread out. How have I been handling this chaos of events occurring through the nerves in my brain? I have been secretly harboring an envious annoyance with people who are getting to skip classes or do not have anything else they need to do but go outside and climb or hike. Oh, I'd love to. But I have three tests and a midterm next week and for the first time in my life I think I need a tutor. I'm not coping as well as I'd like.
No comments:
Post a Comment