Let's talk about the Enneagram shall we?
First of all, when you search the leading sites regarding the Enneagram (ie. enneagraminstitutue; enneagram.net, etc), you may find that this personality theory, based from hundreds to thousands of years of spiritual oral tradition, is all about fluffing up your traits. When a lot of people look into these things they want to know the good things about themselves, and so naturally websites will focus on the pros and only lightly touch on the cons. This is not what the Enneagram is truly based upon.
So for example, a label is often associated with each personality type. I am a type 9 and most websites label this type as "Peacemaker." However, the essence of the Enneagram is based upon how we have trained ourselves to survive, labeled as compulsions. Our personality is a "sin," where sin is defined as anything that is a hindrance to our true selves. So instead of being labeled as a peacemaker, I should be labeled by my compulsion: Avoidance of Conflict. I desire for everything and everyone to be in a state of harmony but to do that I have adapted an avoidance of conflict. I am not saying that there aren't positive traits to each type, but the base of the Enneagram is to discover our true selves and reach a sense of spiritual enlightenment, so to say. In order to do this we have to whap down the fluff and get to the real, gritty core.
http://www.enneagramwork.com/welcome.html -This sites provides ways for others to relate with personality types.
http://www.enneagram.net/types.html -A good sites for more detailed descriptions of each type.
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_sample_36.asp#.UpgJCoXbJr0 -Short, 36 question test. I like that this site gives traits at different levels of personal health.
My roommate has a book that details the history of the Enneagram and moves through the types on a very deeper basis. It's pretty good. Pretty much 17 times more helpful than the websites I've looked at in pursuing "a journey of self discovery." Fluff will only melt away in your hands, and in the end is just a temporary happy filling. Vices are tangibly harder, and you can have exhilarating battles against them. Coming on top stronger and better. I am currently reading the Hobbit and have had attempted an outlook on life very similar to the adventures of Bilbo and the dwarves.
Being a type 9 makes me intensely empathetic, and I am very happy to be associated with many of the nice traits that can come from obtaining a mentally and physically healthy type 9 personality. But there are truer discoveries to be made when taking the less appealing traits and chewing on them for a while. My dilemma is that I cannot stop putting others before myself and my own needs (as Type 9 graciously points out), but in order to begin the road to self discovery this is exactly what I need to do.
I encourage everyone to take a look at their own personality types via the free short test in the link above. And share with people in your lives. If we could understand that we are all not the same (we all coping in various ways), then we would be able to get along with each other and effectively communicate better.
The world would be a better place. It just would.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Among Other Things, Respect
Full disclosure: The past couple of months have been grueling. Not necessarily bad, just very intense. Just 5 days ago I was prancing around the garden center, choreographing moves to my musical "The Grand Outdoors" and laughing. After a great day of climbing at Camp Eagle this past weekend I sat alone by the river, listened to a toad calling out to the night, watched the moon and clouds reflect brightly over the water and thought to myself, "I have been in a bad mood for a year." And truly, I have.
Over the past several weeks I have tried to maintain a candidness in myself that I have never before experienced. I have wanted to grow and be completely honest with myself. It is so easy for us to say, "Well, this is not my fault. That other person should have done such and such." Instead of that I may say, "He should have respected me, but I also should have done better at demanding that respect from him with my presence and words.' And that has been my theme this past week: respect.
What I've learned is that there is a fine line between accepting something as disrespectful or receiving an action as a product of the other's personality that isn't intending to be disrespectful and that we cannot change. Because we cannot change personalities of others. But we can say, "When you say/do that, I feel disrespected." And if there personality is of character, then he/she will try to honor that request in the future.
Two nights ago I am hoping was the pinnacle of this rough and rocky terrain. I came home from a great two days of climbing and good times to find that my house had been broken into and my things along with my two roommates' things had been sorted through and taken. It took a few moments for me to realize what happened, I quickly searched the house with my guard up that someone could still be there, and in the loneliness of my new home my nerves began to shatter.
Later that evening I got stung by a honeybee and out of precaution I took a Benadryl. I fell asleep quite early and remained in a state of emotional numbness for 36 hours. Yesterday I just "was." Benadryl is a powerful drug for small people. But I never experienced anger, or the "Why me?" phase. But I did feel disrespected.
Last night I went to bed early out of grogginess, and about midnight I woke and the numbness had been broken. Quickly after that came the breakdown and tears (Boo, poor me.) But they weren't tears for sadness, they weren't tears of frustration. They just came. When you experience 1,001 emotions in just such a short period of time they need a way to escape. And escape they did. I asked for understanding and told myself I am strong until I fell back asleep. "I'm feeling a lot better. I think I will go for a walk." *Monty Python reference*
No good backpacker knows anything about the terrain by staying in the valley. Sometimes you have to take the grueling 1 mile hike to the top of Pilot mountain in order to see the beautiful overlook of Blue Ridge Parkway with a strong sense of "I did it." And from there, you can know where you are headed.
*
Over the past several weeks I have tried to maintain a candidness in myself that I have never before experienced. I have wanted to grow and be completely honest with myself. It is so easy for us to say, "Well, this is not my fault. That other person should have done such and such." Instead of that I may say, "He should have respected me, but I also should have done better at demanding that respect from him with my presence and words.' And that has been my theme this past week: respect.
What I've learned is that there is a fine line between accepting something as disrespectful or receiving an action as a product of the other's personality that isn't intending to be disrespectful and that we cannot change. Because we cannot change personalities of others. But we can say, "When you say/do that, I feel disrespected." And if there personality is of character, then he/she will try to honor that request in the future.
Two nights ago I am hoping was the pinnacle of this rough and rocky terrain. I came home from a great two days of climbing and good times to find that my house had been broken into and my things along with my two roommates' things had been sorted through and taken. It took a few moments for me to realize what happened, I quickly searched the house with my guard up that someone could still be there, and in the loneliness of my new home my nerves began to shatter.
Later that evening I got stung by a honeybee and out of precaution I took a Benadryl. I fell asleep quite early and remained in a state of emotional numbness for 36 hours. Yesterday I just "was." Benadryl is a powerful drug for small people. But I never experienced anger, or the "Why me?" phase. But I did feel disrespected.
Last night I went to bed early out of grogginess, and about midnight I woke and the numbness had been broken. Quickly after that came the breakdown and tears (Boo, poor me.) But they weren't tears for sadness, they weren't tears of frustration. They just came. When you experience 1,001 emotions in just such a short period of time they need a way to escape. And escape they did. I asked for understanding and told myself I am strong until I fell back asleep. "I'm feeling a lot better. I think I will go for a walk." *Monty Python reference*
No good backpacker knows anything about the terrain by staying in the valley. Sometimes you have to take the grueling 1 mile hike to the top of Pilot mountain in order to see the beautiful overlook of Blue Ridge Parkway with a strong sense of "I did it." And from there, you can know where you are headed.
*
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