Where is Our Community?

There seems to be a trend in our American society. In our fast-paced, dispersing, diverse society. Each time a new shooting occurs conversations circle around stupidity, hatred, gun control, mental illnesses. After the most recent events at Sandy Hook I heard a woman say, "Well, he has to be stupid in order to do something like that." We place blame wherever we can see fit, countless reasons to fathom.

We see what is there, but we do not notice what is lacking. And the blame is on each and every one of us, as a nation. We consider those who separate right and wrong as mentally "normal" and people who do these tragic things as just not "fit enough" to handle life's harsh lessons. I, personally, am frustrated with the judgment and hatred we put towards those who commit crimes because we feel we need to defend those who have suffered in ways no person should ever have to.

For each crime that is committed, we are all responsible no matter how physically distant from the act we are. And that is because we are an interconnected community, yet we do not function the way a community should. Really a "community" is a very hypocritical concept in America. Truer acts of this are presently rarely seen in the states.

If we are to be a community then we are held responsible for looking out for one another; our neighbors, friends, family members, local residents, and others further away. We would think about how our wasteful actions affect those downstream. We wouldn't hear a child's parents beating him/her nextdoor and allow it to continue. Cruelty of several kinds would be very difficult to pull of. Accountability would have a greater value to us. But oh how we so desire to live reclusive lifestyles in the beautiful countryside where nobody can judge us for our mistakes. I resonate with the latter concept, and is why I bring it up.

I recently read about an island in Greece(really there are a few in Greece with the same results) that is known for residents experiencing lengthy and healthy lives. One key, among several, was the tight knit community. “Even if you’re antisocial, you’ll never be entirely alone.” (NYT article on Sardinia). It is not just about healthy lives in terms of length, but about how they are living. 

If we were to hold each other accountable imagine how our nation could change. We DO need people to comment on our mistakes. We do need others to see us slip up, laugh with us and allow us to grow without inhibition. There is not a lot of science or research behind the next thought, but if we took these measures I believe there would be less violence, less mental illnesses, less inmates, less elderly forced into nursing homes, less unhappiness, etc. We can do more good as a national community if little by little we set examples for each other. Becoming so close with one another is quite foreign and uncomfortable at first. It means always having someone asking how you are doing, or to go out for a snack and conversation and not just surfacing questions but digging deep into your well being. But it is well worth the initial aggravations. I am very much guilty of taking advantage of introvert behavior rather than seeking out a friend for a laugh or serious talk. And maybe that is our crutch. It is just so easy to find an escape and excuse. We don't like people to say negative things about us, no matter how constructive it may be. But how will we ever grow as people if we don't hear those things? 

Our DNA desires for us to be social. What happens when you put a social animal in a cage by itself? 

Happiness vs. Optimism

Recently I journeyed to the Red River Gorge"ous" to surprise Dan who had been on a brief solo climbing adventure. By the end of the weekend I began reflecting on the dichotomy of  happiness and optimism. They are masked by their abundant similarities to seem as interchangeable terms. But they are different, and very much so.

That weekend I climbed harder routes than I have been able to in just about a year's worth of time. A hand "injury" has held me back for quite some time. Whenever I reached anything at a 5.9 grade or pulled on a hold at just the precise angle, pain would shoot through my hand and radiate. Unexplained it came and went and my spirits toward climbing declined. But I still went outside on occasion. I remained OPTIMISTIC that I still enjoyed being outside, with friends, climbing on fun boulders and routes even if I had to hold back on how much I did. The optimism was there, sometimes quickly fleeting, but the feeling of being beat down lurked beneath the shallow positivity.

The inherent happiness that comes with climbing slowly evaporated away and I found myself asking why I still held on. Climbing reached a point that it no longer made me happy. The weekend I climbed without the hindrance of pain I felt happiness rush back into my soul like a fresh storm. I remembered how to connect with the route and the pure feeling returned of enjoying a beautiful, sunny day filled with friendly strangers and puppies to pet. And with that joy, my optimism lifted without restrain.

Optimism usually follows happiness, but happiness does not always follow optimism.

I see many people who are optimistic. But I wonder if it is because they are happy, or if it is just a mask to hide the questions lingering inside. I wonder if the smiles and laughter come from a deeper place, genuine. Rather is it a facade in an attempt to cover internal chaos?

Sometimes I believe we just need a reminder when the pain has gone away to tell us why we continue on with the decisions we have set for ourselves in life. To remember that there is happiness to be found in our situations.   A cleansing of life and a return to contentment of the raw components of who we are.