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| One of my many afternoons spent at the waterfall with the dogs. |
In just under two weeks I will have hit the one year mark of my return from South Africa, Lesotho, England and France. I will hit the one year of my dramatic (for me) ending, with an envelope in my hand sitting on a bench outside a cathedral in the city of Paris holding back tears. That recap can be found on my other
blog, "Exploring Jai." Last year I returned to the U.S. absolutely devastated and broken. The transformation in just this one year has humbled me.
First of all let me say that I could not have done it without the love of my family, especially my parents, the comradery of my sisters, and the innocent joy of my niece and nephew. When I told my dad about my Student VISA rejection without missing a beat he said, "Come home and start over." And I did.
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| My immediate family this past Thanksgiving. These were our last holidays spent with our Aunt Pam (upper left) this year. |
The whole reconstruction of my life seemed to take baby steps at first. Initially I focused on my internal approach to my recent failure. I am not afraid of the worth failure anymore, by the way. Running and meditation became daily exercises. I focused on growing and never losing the passion that I had discovered while in South Africa. I refused to let myself settle again. I found healing in the autumn colors of North Carolina, wrapping their arms around me in comfort like a familiar blanket. I discovered a species of salamander that had taken me years to find. In hindsight, an omen. My renewal began like a trickle as I was just trying to rediscover my trail.
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| Two of the best farm companions a girl could ask for. Definitely made me feel safer exploring the dry valley bushveld on my own. |
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| My campsite at Imfolozi Game Reserve. |
Then I found an "in-the-meantime" job, bought a truck, made great new friends, applied for volunteer positions. Every job offer in my field of study seemed to required years of experience or, yep, a Masters Degree (which is what I was suppose to be earning in England). Slaps in the face. I shrugged them off but they sunk deeper with each job rejection that so many of us know I began to wonder where I was headed. I respected those who attempted to comfort me but the internal truths of each decline weighed heavy on an already loaded heart. I celebrated the littlest of successes. I began to wake up and immediately think of something to be grateful for.
Then March came and volunteer educator position opened up within the USFS. I figured I would put in "x" number of months or years with the USFS before having enough experience that they might consider hiring me. Within a couple of weeks their non-profit partner offered me an internship opening. I was doing something I love. Finally. And the trickle grew to a steady flow. Life came back into my spirit. The idea of trying for graduate school again seeped out the deep crevices of my mind where I had hastily harbored them to. I began to looking forward.
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View of some of the cliffs at MNR.
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And now here I am. Somewhat finding myself in a similar position as March 2014- looking forward to a trip to South Africa and thinking about graduate school. South Africa last year easily captured me. The drive to Mhlopeni Nature Reserve hooked me instantaneously. I was thriving and swimming in new discoveries of myself and of a new world filled with flora and fauna of such rich diversity. From one of my early posts:
"Ordinary tasks become way cooler when the sounds of African mammals are calling in the distance. Hanging my laundry earlier I could hear the zebra yelping in the valley. On most mornings while I eat breakfast I sit on the verandah and watch a gray Lanner falcon at its nest on the facing cliff. Just now I hear impala barking at each other near the stream below."
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| Up on top of one of the mountains surrounding MNR. A massive termite mound. |
Now I am gearing up for this new adventure! Be sure to read up on the "Exploring Jai" blog come early November. The spitting cobras won't be in hibernation this time, and my plans take me into explorations underwater. My heart is returning to the wild landscapes that took me in and made me stronger, better.
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| Sunset over the river on our last night at Imfolozi Wilderness Leadership School. Life changing. |
"Since watching a family of nine giraffe and a colony of bats during dusk across the river from our campsite in Imfulozi, I have acknowledged something stirring. My time at the waterfall yesterday afternoon opened me up to what that may be. And it's scary! But there are exciting times ahead, as long as my heart stays straight."
