After extensive research it is proven what I was in my past life

You know how people sometimes say, "I think I was probably a (insert desired past life here) in my past life," and it is always something like a king, or a wizard, or a firefly. And then you respond to them, "Why would you ever presume you were an Egyptian prince?" They say along the lines of, "Because I just know," without providing any logical or scientific proof whatsoever.


Since I have started climbing more I have acquired an inkling that whatever I was in my past life has really left me hanging in the Arm Length Department. To jump ahead, here is a picture of my conclusion ----it's right over there------> It's a Deinonychus, similar to a velociraptor, but please don't get them confused.



I am not very tall as is but I feel holds that should easily be within my reach are considerably harder to get to. Well last night I discovered proof that I was not just making up blind hypotheses to excuse inability to stretch out to holds that really aren't far apart at all. I was at a party talking with a few other climbers about arm spans and one of them had the idea of how we could tell our Ape Index using a wall. You touch your finger tips of one hand to the floor against the wall and stretch out up the wall to the extent of your span and then compare it to your height. Most of them were +1, Daniel was even +2 or 3 inches. Mine...-1 or 2 inches. Lame. So the only logical explanation is obviously that I was some sort of dinosaur with little arms in my past life. Who has ever seen a dinosaur climb rock faces before? I just had to figure out which one. Here were my options:



The second one is a Deinonychus as well, just a much better picture of one. The Muttaburrasaurus was in for a fairly close run but I don't think that if I were actually a dinosaur that I would have been an herbivore. I crave meet almost four times a day.


So now I just blame the universe for my shortcomings in inches and accept the challenge to just get stronger so I can pull harder on the climbing wall and make more dynamic moves of excellence in order to reach holds that sit mockingly out of reach.