"Texts from last night." Not quite. But almost.

Last night consisted of a series of study fails. In this post you will have the pleasure to read about these failed attempts and also gain helpful study tips for long exam nights.

I arrived at the library about noon after battling gusts and flying shards of ice crystals to the face. Uppon arrival to the 3rd floor of the libary I realized that I had left my phone at the apartment, and was suppose to meet a friend to work on an online test together at 2 or 3. It sounds like cheating, but I assure it was only borderline and actually not cheating. Found him. Did the test. Got a 91. Class=ace! Sounds like a good beginning for getting things done, right? Wrong. At this point I still had an online Spanish exam and 2 other exams(History and Cartogprahy) to study for for the next day.

Remember-no phone.

One of my best friends from high school and his girlfriend were planning on visiting yesterday, even though Boone just received 2(+) feet of snow in the last four days along with gusts up to 50 mph. They also planned to stay at our place, arriving at 5:15, me with no phone, and Caroline stuck on campus someplace because I drove her here and her only contact with me was via Facebook. The universe created Facebook for a reason.

Aaron picked her up, and I took the opportunity to begin my Spanish exam. I have been doing pretty well in Spanish and so I didn't expect my online 2.5 hour exam would take too much time to do, and I could move right along happily with my evening. It had only been taking me about 45 minutes to finish my other tests in the class.This test in particular took me 2 hours to complete and it felt as if every single bit of Spanish I have learned since freshman year of high school left my body at that very moment to go have a coffee break. She even gave us a picture of a spanish dish and asked us to name it and tell where it is served. I had never seen the dish before though it looked a lot like jumbalaya. All-in-all, I found out today that I did better than I thought and still have an A in the class. Ace #2!

But after that catastrophe it was back to studying. I kicked off with Tip #1:

Exam all-nighter TIP #1: Drink lots of water in order to ensue several pee breaks. It also helps if you only fill your water bottle up halfway so you also have to re-fill more frequently.

Other friends commented that other liquids may help. These include the following: coffee, hot tea, or alcohol. But I don't recommend alcohol. Alcohol may only increase apathy towards the test taking.

After this I proceeded to complain about life and grab coffee with Melise who was working on her paper at the computers on the same floor, the Silent Study floor, of the library. She asked the cashier at the Wise Scholar to pop her bag of popcorn for her, which ended up burned. He apologized. Melise apologized. Even though it was her dinner they have just converted into charcoal. But another girl working there insisted on giving Melise two free croissants to make up for it. Sometimes random acts of kindness like that can lift up an entire day. We made it to the 2nd floor and sat to talk while we stuffed our faces with chocolatey croissant-goodness. Melise and I were doing a pretty good job of annoying people studying around us on our own but the universe knew we could always use extra help and he sent Caroline, Aaron, and Annika through the library doors! It was wonderful procrastination to see them and catch up with Aaron whom I have not talked to in a very long time.

After a little bit of Christmas singing with Sha and the La-Las (you've probably heard of them. They're pretty big here in Boone) they left, Melise and I went back upstairs and resumed studying. I put in a solid 10 minutes of looking up informative details about the Separatist Movement in Sinkiang, China before Mike Fisher walked through the doors to guide my attention elsewhere. After half an hour I updated with Tip #2:

Watch "greatest freakout ever" videos on YouTube (preferably with a friend who also needs a mental breather). You will find in these videos that you do not want to end up like what that kid will be in 12 years and will be inspired to study harder for your exams.

If you have not seen these videos, you must. NOW! And while you do pray that you will not conceive a child that is as hot tempered and messed up as that kid. Seriously, who burns a Christmas Tree!?

I think it was at this point that Tip #1 started to take an effect and I left for a quick pee break. I noted Melise sitting with her back towards me at the computers and I instantly began to plan my attack. *Please keep in mind, I don't think I am a funny person, these are just accounts of Melise and I going crazy in the library. I do, however, have the potential to be a pretty dang good ninja minus one little detail.* So I started to sneak up on her but over years of soccer the synovial fluid in my joints has deteriorated and my ankles and wrists now pop whenever I walk/crawl. The only way I could keep them from making noise was to walk sideways (think 'crab') with a sneaky expression on my face because sneaky expressions help you to be even more sneaky. The following is a loosely interpreted yet exact account from Melise: "I saw a shadow in my computer but instead of turning around like normal people would do I looked closer into the screen to see if I could tell what it was." She then realized and turned around making a loud, "BO-UGH!" noise in the middle of the Silent Study floor and tears began to flow down our cheeks as we laughed at how funny we are (I promise we are not really that conceited) while simultaneously being the most annoying students on the floor.

Reluctantly I had to continue studying. It was almost 9 o'clock and I had completed about 23% (studies actually done) of what I had wanted to by that time. But alas, History was calling my name and I had important key terms to look up and I was almost 100% sure that Dr. Isaenko had made them up. I thought this because he literally said one day in class and I wrote it down in my notebook, "This is my term. Nobody else uses this," and used it in his published textbook. On a tangent, he also told us with his Russian accent, "My book is complicated. It is none of this, 'Mary has a goat' nonsense that they teach in American high schools." That is a snippet of my Tuesday/Thursday semester with a Russian professor from the Caucusus region who believes Russia is God's gift to earth, has been an advisor to several authorities within Russia, parts of Central Asia, and Duke while also being a national soccer star. Anywho, I began using Wikipedia to look up Islamic and other foreign terms from Central Asia ideologies, which then lead me to other America-bashing websites such as the "Official Hizb ut-Tahrir Webpage." I "favorited" the website and am almost certain that I have been red-flagged by the American government, which leads me to Tip #3:

Read about how other organizations hate the United States. An example includes the website for Hizb ut-Tahrir. Or go to certain articles on aljazeera.net; in doing so you will be motivated to not be so ignorant and act as a "typical, ignorant American" and will therefore study more.

Soon after Melise saved me with doughnuts she found from a random, giant box located at the main entrance of the library. It was getting close to 11 or 11:30 and I noticed the security guards making rounds throughout the floors. We decided to take a study break to retrieve more delicious doughnuts but when Melise looked over at the box the security guards were achieving every stereotype possible by sitting next to the box of doughnuts like they were all theirs! We weren't even sure they were for free of for us to even have, but who would tempt college students like that? Melise, embarassed for some reason, told me to look away but of course I just stared at them and laughed.

We were becoming giddy as if knowledge had been transformed into some form of laughing gas and had been inhaling it for hours. Irritability from other students towards us transcended now to every floor except the base floor.

So we turned away, no doughnuts in our hands or our bellies. I returned to my spot on the 3rd floor and updated with Tip #4:

Begin avoiding the security guards as they go around checking for IDs to make them think you are homeless and just putting up the facade of a student studying for exams so you don't have to go outside and sleep in the cold. When doing this, make sure to connect awkward eye contact so they know you are avoiding them.

Melise promptly added an additional and appropriate tip: "Steal as many donuts from sketchy bin as possible and leave total pocket change (about 17 cents) on table as compensation. When going for another round and aforementioned policemen are hovering over the donuts, laugh obviously while other friend stares and makes some quite obvious assumptions."

I want to take this time to mention to always leave pocket change where felt necessary, and leave before anyone has a chance to count it. If you need to question if the desired object in front of you is free or not, then it probably is not or is "free" with some sort of catch attached.

I was laughing at Melise's tip when I noticed the time: midnight. And at that very moment a security guard popped out of the elevator and I could see him through the windows checking IDs. I grabbed mine, just in case. I made sure to connect awkward eye contact with him as I circled to the other side of the windows (they make a big cylinder of windows so you can see what everybody is doing all the time, even on other floors) and got a drink of water from the fountain. I looked back as he had approached the seat I left and I again made eye contact as I disappeared (like a ninja) into the bookstacks. I found Melise, who was more than willing to join me. I didn't even have to ask. Just one example of why she is so freaking awesome. We waited for the security guard to head over to the computers and dipped into the stacks again, successfully dodging him while yet again making sketchy eye contact. Remember, if you have a sneaky expression on your face, it just makes you even more sneaky! And this, in return, makes you more ninja-like (but not without years of experience like I have).

He eventually found us, or really we allowed him to find us. Melise was convincingly holding the book "How to Speak Yiddish" and speaking as if she was seriously contemplating checking it out. He asked for her ID and as she lead him away to her computer I considered running away again. But I hesitated too long and he captured me in eye contact that indicated our game was over.

Before the night was over, I went to the bathroom again and attempted to sneak up on Melise a second time. This time I would not allow my shadow in the computer to give me away so I began crawling on the library floor. My cracking wrists gave me away though and she turned around with another loud, shocked "BOH!?" in the middle of the Silent Study floor.

Excellence achieved.

We eventually left the library at 1:30 AM to come home to several beloved friends in our apartment and we began to consume handfuls of cookie dough. Tip #5:

Tip #5: To handle the stresses of exam week, consume an equivalent of your body weight in chocolate-chip cookie dough within 48 hours.

Tip #6: Listen to your "Favorited" songs on Grooveshark while eating the aforementioned cookie dough.

From this I learned: I could "all encompassingly" be a ninja if it wasn't for my cracking joints. That is the ONLY thing holding me back...

I also just realized how the name of my blog is "Shaping Motivation" and majority of this post consists of procrastination techniques than actual study skills. Oops.