Motivation Not to Procrastinate

I have determined that my love of getting to bed before 1 AM outweighs my willingness to procrastinate.

I am even willing to leave my paper without a conclusion until tomorrow so I can go to bed.

Lesson to be learned: get shit done earlier.

Motivation to Climb

Earlier today an epiphany came to me while ending a beautiful afternoon at Rumbling Bald. It was easily 70 with full sunshine. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been bouldering outdoors in the daylight since the Fall semester began. On two hands I can count the number of times I have been climbing period since then. Setbacks resulting for mysterious hand pain have frustrated me, a hefty school load keeps me exhausted with continual work, and pure lack of motivation has kept me from something I use to love doing.

A gorgeous day after Thanksgiving was just the motivation to get out. My guide book was accidentally left in Boone so I had to do without. All of the boulders that I happened to stumble upon were completely new to me and only leftover chalked up holds were left as my directors. I just climbed. Nobody around. Nobody spilling beta vomit. Quiet. Perfect. All the "problems" took a few tries. But there wasn't any way for me to know the grade, and for ultimately the expectations to get into my head. I didn't care. Sheer excitement of these boulders lying just beyond the popular circuit with such creative and fun movments rare to discover kept me pumped to get back on again and again. No hand pain. No sketchy lands. No pushing for my Umpteenth V-Whatever of the month. Quiet. Perfect.

As I fell onto my pad below a chossy boulder where I made friends with a curious, young black rat snake I thought about how I felt toward climbing. About why I have not pushed myself to go to the school gym. This day, like the problems I climbed, was one in few. It was for days like today that I fell in love with climbing. It was being outdoors, in the curves of a mountainside, with no final goals whatsoever except to try what seemed challenging and groovy. There was no way for me to tell the grade of each problem. Not very high, I know for sure. But also no names to drop to people in casual conversation, so that without admitting my grade they instinctively know by nominal association that yes, I did in fact just climb another V-121 (not a real grade if any non-climbers are reading this). It was just climbing. No competition, even friendly. It wasn't for looks and high numbers. It wasn't for building up awesome abs and stellar guns. It was for me. It was to flush out all of the stress build-up from this semester. It wasn't the instigator of the crushing and twisiting of my soul, it was the alleviator.

The way I felt today reminded me of the owners of the two pads I took with me. Mike Aubrey, who lended his crash pad to me before he left for California, steps out the door looking for an adventure everyday. Whenever I think of him I imagine him nonchalantly strolling into the woods with only necessities on his back accepting whatever path falls below his feet. And then Daniel, who is just as excited for someone climbing outside for the first time as he would be for a stranger climbing cruising up every V10 he/she comes upon. He is one of few that can re-ignite my will to give another go after being shut down continuously in a day. Attitudes like those and that I have seen in them and in very few others recently inspires and motivates me to keep pushing through hindrances and doubts.

As a friend told me once, "I'm not going to go crush. I am going to go climb."

End rant.

How To Move to Thailand...

or possibly How Not to Move to Thailand.

I have never planned my own adventure into another country, and Thailand won't be an easy job. Luckily, I won't have to do the planning alone over these next several months. Planning ahead is not really a forte of mine. I am more of the "up and go" on a whim sort of person but when you expect to find a place to live and a job in a country that is thriving on sex trafficking of women (a huge portion of Thailand's GDP), a little bit of planning is probable in decreasing your likelihood of coerced abduction. As my FCC adventure staff director always says: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.

Here is what I have discovered thus far in the beginning stages of our process to be in Thailand by the end of this summer:

1. Find a reliable site that gives you information on when to apply for a Visa and what type of shots you will be needing. travel.state.gov is good for any general information on countries including entry and exit requirements, and how to prevent yourself from being arrested by the same cops who promote the sex trafficking of naive, young woman travelers. An appreciated service to have. Also, look at the country's embassy site. The one for Thailand is the Royal Thai Embassy.

2. Figure out generally what you want to be doing and begin to look for opportunities in different regions. Often I have become frustrated with the lack of job openings for my field of study, and once and again I threaten to just show up in Thailand and renew the search. In moments of clarification I realize this is a terrible idea. Even be creative. If you have special skills that you may offer a company look into contacting them about providing you the opportunity to come over and help them out. I started making an Excel sheet of National Parks I would be interested in working for in Thailand and Malaysia (just in case) and will one by one look in to each of them.

3. Start saving money now. It is much less expensive to live over there but you never know what kind of shenannigans might happen while abroad. Expect the unexpected is a popular cliche for a purpose.

That's pretty much it so far. More than likely once 3 weeks prior to take-off rolls around I will be completely re-thinking the efficiency of my planning methods. Plans in the near future are to start learning some of the basic words and phrases, and creating a more in-depth plan.

The thrill of adventure is sneaking up on me.

Seasonal Love

I love when the sun hits Autumn's template
And the way a crisp breeze sweeps through the trees
Scattering leaves into the rush of air
And pursuing to meander
Down toward the earth to rest

As the season advances
And the ground begins to firm
I miss the golden rays of light

But I love when lights reflect off the snow
And how gently a bird's tracks imprint on the soft surface
All is placid and whispered
Only the crunch of footsteps,
Or the flapping of waxwings on ashes,
And the call of a chickadee
Ignite the wisps of air with harmonies

As the season advances
And the ground begins to soften
I miss the smell of choke puffing from chimneys

But I love when the buds shimmy heavy ice from the branches
With promise of magnolia blossoms soon to come
As the ease of green washes over the landscape
Painting flesh over the bare bark
Furnishing shelter for the flocks and choruses

As the season advances
And the ground begins to warm
I miss the whisper of intrinsic beginnings

But I love the sounds of bullfrogs along the lake
And lightning bugs glittering the air
Storms cool with a sweet smell of rain
As thunder soothes my soul to rest

As the season advances
And the greens turn to colors again
I miss the laziness of heat and retreating naps in the shade

There's something perfect in this tulip

There is something quite perfect in this tulip. If you see it from a genetic glimpse, then you see where somewhere in it's germination the DNA faltered. This single red petal is caused by a mutation, and the imperfectness causes it to be different from the dozens of yellow tulips that surround it. Yellow tulips can be said to symbolize "bright thoughts." Red tulips "perfect love." Without this mutation there would only be a sea happy thoughts but instead there is a wave of perfect love as well.

Currently I feel an imbalance in my life. Something is not quite right, and my ability to handle changing environments has faltered. I am missing this red/yellow combination that this tulip has that makes it subtly more perfect than the others. It is a perfect balance.

*this photo was taken in Central Park, New York*

Trawl Net Adventure and Code Purple

Sarah, Amelea, and I (or formally known as "First Flight" or "Sky Island" people) went on an adventure to Wanchese yesterday. More specifically to the Fishing Industrial Park. This was not just a random adventure out, but yet we were looking for a trawl net with the grand idea in mind that we could suspend it from branches and create a "springboard" for our kids on Friday (today).

It took a few phone calls on Amelea's part to find Faron Daniels who runs the Wanchese Trawl and Fishing Supply store. She spoke with him on the phone and he invited her to drop by because of her slow accent over the phone. We ventured out and had an experience that will be kept in our memories for quite some time. Our first introduction to Faron was through a very intense, verbal argument he was having with a customer that had not paid his bill in over a year. Faron firmly told him that if he wasn't making enough money then he shouldn't be fishing. The man angrily left as Faron turned to the three of us, awkwardly posed in old fashioned chairs, and asked, "What do these boys want? Which one of you is Ohio (Amelea)?" He was friendly, in a very southern manner. If you're not from the South then this style of joking is with bold, can be taken as rude, comments from an already burly, inherently intimidating man. He guided us to the warehouse where all of the rope and nets are kept. A skinny dog tied to a rope wagged her tail and growled at us. Very mixed signals. He kept asking what size net we wanted, but we still weren't even sure he was just going to give some to us or if he expected a discounted price. Even when I asked him, he didn't give us a direct answer. In the end, he gave us 20 feet of brand new net, and offered his son up for marriage. We kindly declined and went on our way but not until after he asked us to return for a visit. We definitely are.

The actual net is suspended a couple of feet off of the ground. Although we have fit 7 adults on it at one time the plan was not to have more than 3-4 kids "learning to fly" on it at a time while we spot them from the edges. I can post a picture when I am able to get one.

Today was pretty sad. The smoke from the fire at Alligator River has caused a Code Purple warning. Which is the worst warning. The childcare centers are not allowed to let their kids out of the building because of hazards for children with respiratory issues. Our playwork narrative has been canceled for today, with hopes of re-scheduling for Monday. Everyone is pretty upset that we had to put our excitement on hold for each of our "play habitats", and we have been in front of our computers throughout the morning trying to upload photos and update blogs.

The weekend begins.

Viewpoint of an "IT"

Today our challenge took us into the enemy's territory. We actually had to create an enemy territory. All week we've been protecting ourselves from the mysterious "IT" creatures that lurk everywhere and today we had to place ourselves in their mindset in order to design an "IT" den. I was sort of lost on what to do until I saw Molly digging a "bathtub" in the black, moist mud. This area would be completely uninhabitable if it weren't for the roots of trees holding the earth together. The effect of this causes a vibration in the ground when it is walked/jumped on. So we cleared away the roots while some built a bridge from stray logs across a forbidden stream of mud. Some people have fallen in an ended nearly waist deep in mud.

And it smells. Bad.

What a great day.